Squid Has Shocking Revelation, Quits Melee to Save Redwood Trees

Super Smash Brothers Melee Falco player Squid recently had a revelation during a heated set with Samus main Darrell that the redwood trees in California desperately needed attention. Coming from a family of lumberjacks, it was no surprise to Squid that the trees had been dying out due to drought.

“Due to the lack of water in the past few years, these trees have been on death row for quite some time,” Squid explained. “It’s about time I quit playing a silly game, highball it out of here, and go back to building an irrigation system to keep California’s redwood trees alive.”

It was no surprise to the TOs or viewers after seeing Squid’s attire and full beard that he was in the wrong profession. “I wasn’t sure who that guy in the flannel was, but he smelled of pine needles and cedar. I was going to tell him that he must have missed the exit to the arboretum, but he had a controller in his hand so I decided to let it go,” commented random smash player who probably drowned in pools.

After the set, Squid went out back to his Toyota Pickup and has not been seen in a tournament venue ever since.

Player Darrell declined to comment.

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