Blendtec Vows to Replace Armada as the Number One Peach

Change is coming to the Super Smash Brothers Melee community. Amidst a bombshell retirement announcement this past Tuesday from the best-of-all-time Peach player Adam “Armada” Lindgren, the hero of another famed Smash documentary has vowed to replace Lindgren as the number one Peach.

Superstar Peach player “Blendtec” burst onto the scene after being the subject of an episode of a Smash Bros. documentary called “The Blender.” Since his rise, Blendtec has become one of the most skilled yet controversial players in the community. He’s also an expert on marketing kitchen appliances, relationship advice, and deception.

“Buddy, all you need to know is that I am the best — I’m going to blend all your faces and destroy Mike Haze in-tournament. That’s the Blendtec advantage baby, I’m better than you!” said Blendtec in an interview with The Turnip.

Blendtec’s dominance at the pro-level has largely been due to his avant garde use of Peach’s downsmash. He claims that when he plays Peach the move gets buffed due to it’s “blender-like” style, which Blendtec claims helps in remaining 100-0 (no upsets) in his tournament set count.

Armada publicly stated that he doesn’t know who Blendtec is, but wishes him the best in his pursuit of greatness. Blendtec has responded to Armada’s statement with the following:

“Listen buddy, I’m the best, you’re the worst. I will moneymatch anyone $1,000 I.R.L. Outta my face — the Blendtec nation will fully rise baby!


The larger-than-life story of Blendtec deserves to be told. If you’re interested, check out these links in chronological order:

  1. The Blendtec Smash Documentary
  2. Mike Haze vs Blendtec
  3. Blendtec reveals his identity
  4. The Smash Community and Blendtec
  5. The Smash Community and Blendtec 2

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