Nintendo Direct Delayed Until People Stop Calling SSBU “Smush”

JAPAN — Executives at Nintendo have delayed the September 6th Nintendo Direct until people stop calling Super Smash Brothers Ultimate “Smush.” The announcement was made earlier this week as punishment for the popularity the nickname has received, which Nintendo says is “extremely disrespectful.”

PR from Nintendo claimed that they “[are] not above holding fans hostage” and warned that if fans want any more details about Ultimate then they had better stop the disrespect immediately.

“You think we’re good at cease and desist, sure. But we’ve got even better tactics than just using the court of law: blackmail,” said Yoshiaki Tezuku, a game designer at Nintendo.

Workers at Nintendo of Japan’s HQ said that nicknaming Ultimate as “Smush” is actually worse than death. Many claimed that it reduces the hard work of an entire team down to the sound babies make when they eat.

“We’re not toddlers hanging out in an office anymore, and until you treat us like full-grown adults we’re not telling you anything,” said one anonymous Nintendo employee.


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