Deranged Hungrybox Won’t Stop Edgeguarding Kids at the Playground

ORLANDO, FLORIDA – Number one ranked pro Smash player Juan “Hungrybox” DeBiedma has taken over the swingset of a local playground, and has been violently responding to any children who try and climb on.

The rampage started when Hbox shoved a child on the monkey bars, sending her plummeting to the ground. He followed up by screaming something about DI mixup, and donkey kicking a little boy off the swingset. After clearing three more children off the playground, Hungrybox collapsed, crying what appeared to be tears of joy.

“Sure maybe crying was a bit much,” an observer told The Turnip, “but after such a dominant performance over those small children, I think a pop-off is justified.”

Other observers were less kind to the pro Smash player,“I have a feeling that an event like this is bad for the Smash community. Don’t get me wrong, it takes a lot of skills to edgeguard a playground full of children, but I worry that Hungrybox’s continued dominance of the swingset will turn off new players”

Police on the scene have spent the better part of an hour trying to taser Hbox, but as of press time he’s been able to ledge camp them out.

 


You might think that Hbox is the crazy one in this story, but would you be surprised if we told you YOU are the crazy one? For not following the Turnip’s official Twitter account. Face reveal of The Turnip at 2,000 followers!

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