Smasher Harvests Own Kidney On Stream for Summit Votes
THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, USA — Smasher Garrett “Simplicitus” Paza is making waves after pulling off what is possibly the most ambitious and stupid Summit […]
Tournament News
Police Called after Summit Mafia Turns Violent
CALIFORNIA — A horrific scene developed late last night at the BeyondTheSummit streaming house during the customary after-bracket games of mafia. Allegedly misunderstanding the rules […]
“Why doesn’t he just clone himself like me?” Mew2King on Leffen’s Genesis Scheduling Dilemma
OAKLAND — The organizers for the Genesis tournament series are once again under scrutiny, but this time it has nothing to do with subzero aquatic […]
Mentally Deranged Mang0 Tackles Leffen to Ground at EVO Awards Ceremony
For the first time at an EVO tournament series, security was called in on a top player during the Melee awards ceremony. Joseph “Mang0” Marquez […]
New Smasher Concludes the Duplicate Character Glitch “Wobbling” Ruins Melee
JULY 17 — Horrors struck the /r/smashbros subreddit this past week, as one of its worst fears has been realized. First-tourney Fox player Sami “xEnce” […]
Water Elemental Adamantly Refuses to Facilitate Pools at Smash N’ Splash 4
Top Smashers weren’t the only ones asked to help run pools at the recent Smash n’ Splash 4. While top players complained on Twitter, there […]
UCF Causes Phantom Hit on Non-UCF Setup
At the last biweekly tournament in Brevard, North Carolina, Niko “Yusterday” Markovic disputed with TOs over a loss in pools to Keith “Fmaster2” Kovac. In […]
Summit Voting Schemes Approach the Event Horizon of Stupidity
The biannual sellout season is here once again. From a heartfelt message by a Melee pro donning a bathrobe under candlelight, to the bold move […]
Local Fox Main Sits Atop Revival Platform for the Full 5 Seconds
In an attempt to build some sort of competitive climax, Fox main Kristian “Activ3” Jarguz took the full five seconds to get off from the […]
New Melee Player Prepares for Family Gathering
17-year-old Robin “NaranSha” Johansson is arranging for an absolute mop-up of competition at his grandmother’s 87th birthday party, which is being held at his house […]