Nintendo Unveils For Glory Ness Containment Servers
REDMOND, WASHINGTON – Nintendo has announced today that in an effort to improve players’ online experience, they are implementing new servers made specifically for Ness […]
Scientific Study
Top 8 of National Happening When You’re Most Busy
Annoying things that you’re expected to do for some reason, or ‘responsibilities’, have once again prevented you from watching yet another Top 8 of a […]
Hungrybox Doesn’t Understand Why Mang0 Hasn’t Responded to His Linkedin Request
In an exclusive interview with The Turnip, Hungrybox, the top ranked melee player in the world, revealed that he added Mango on Linkedin “Like two […]
Incineroar to be Patched out of Ultimate After Testing Positive for Performance-Enhancing Drugs
Masahiro Sakurai shocked the Smash community at Wednesday’s Nintendo Direct by announcing that Incineroar will be patched out of Super Smash Bros Ultimate after failing […]
Opinion: Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip
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Changes are Coming to The Turnip
Satire for the Whole Smash Community By now you can tell The Turnip didn’t manage to hold off the release of Ultimate, and so goes […]
This Week in Science: Planet X Clues Continue & Smasher Discovers Deodorant
The first week of October has yielded massive breakthroughs in the scientific worlds. Evidence of the putative Planet X that supposedly lies beyond even Pluto […]
100 IQ Found to be the Limit of Falco Main Intelligence
NEW JERSEY — A recent study conducted by Rutgers University has reportedly found a ceiling for the IQ of Falco mains. The landmark finding came […]
New Rising Melee Players Could Forecast Yellowstone Eruption
CALIFORNIA — Melee It On Me scientists have made a gloomy statement this past Monday following the finals of the recent Shine 2018 tournament by […]
Smash Ultimate Ports Over Popular Melee Technique of Air-dodging Off Stage
LOS ANGELES – Appealing to the fans of the GameCube edition of the popular series Super Smash Bros, creator Masahiro Sakurai unveiled Tuesday that the […]