Scientific Study

Top 8 of National Happening When You’re Most Busy

March 29, 2019 Will Cozens 0

Annoying things that you’re expected to do for some reason, or ‘responsibilities’, have once again prevented you from watching yet another Top 8 of a […]

Hungrybox Doesn’t Understand Why Mang0 Hasn’t Responded to His Linkedin Request

March 22, 2019 Peter Casciato 0

In an exclusive interview with The Turnip, Hungrybox, the top ranked melee player in the world, revealed that he added Mango on Linkedin “Like two […]

Incineroar to be Patched out of Ultimate After Testing Positive for Performance-Enhancing Drugs

February 15, 2019 Peter Casciato 4

Masahiro Sakurai shocked the Smash community at Wednesday’s Nintendo Direct by announcing that Incineroar will be patched out of Super Smash Bros Ultimate after failing […]

Opinion: Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip

January 17, 2019 Peter Casciato 6

Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip […]

Changes are Coming to The Turnip

December 8, 2018 Brigham Pratt 0

Satire for the Whole Smash Community By now you can tell The Turnip didn’t manage to hold off the release of Ultimate, and so goes […]

This Week in Science: Planet X Clues Continue & Smasher Discovers Deodorant

October 5, 2018 Brigham Pratt 0

The first week of October has yielded massive breakthroughs in the scientific worlds. Evidence of the putative Planet X that supposedly lies beyond even Pluto […]

100 IQ Found to be the Limit of Falco Main Intelligence

September 14, 2018 Brigham Pratt 0

NEW JERSEY — A recent study conducted by Rutgers University has reportedly found a ceiling for the IQ of Falco mains. The landmark finding came […]

New Rising Melee Players Could Forecast Yellowstone Eruption

August 31, 2018 Brigham Pratt 0

CALIFORNIA — Melee It On Me scientists have made a gloomy statement this past Monday following the finals of the recent Shine 2018 tournament by […]

Smash Ultimate Ports Over Popular Melee Technique of Air-dodging Off Stage

June 15, 2018 Diya Basrai 0

LOS ANGELES – Appealing to the fans of the GameCube edition of the popular series Super Smash Bros, creator Masahiro Sakurai unveiled Tuesday that the […]