Scientific Study

Duck Hunt Euthanized After Biting Child

October 11, 2019 Peter Casciato 1

Kyoto, Japan – Nintendo has announced today that the character Duck Hunt from the popular Super Smash Brothers series, has been put to sleep after […]

Hungrybox Glad Everyone’s Focusing On Salem For A Bit

September 24, 2019 Peter Casciato 7

ONTARIO – Hungrybox is taking some well deserved time off from being the most hated man in Smash as the community shifts the focus of […]

Nintendo Unveils For Glory Ness Containment Servers

July 6, 2019 Peter Casciato 1

REDMOND, WASHINGTON – Nintendo has announced today that in an effort to improve players’ online experience, they are implementing new servers made specifically for Ness […]

Top 8 of National Happening When You’re Most Busy

March 29, 2019 Will Cozens 0

Annoying things that you’re expected to do for some reason, or ‘responsibilities’, have once again prevented you from watching yet another Top 8 of a […]

Hungrybox Doesn’t Understand Why Mang0 Hasn’t Responded to His Linkedin Request

March 22, 2019 Peter Casciato 0

In an exclusive interview with The Turnip, Hungrybox, the top ranked melee player in the world, revealed that he added Mango on Linkedin “Like two […]

Incineroar to be Patched out of Ultimate After Testing Positive for Performance-Enhancing Drugs

February 15, 2019 Peter Casciato 4

Masahiro Sakurai shocked the Smash community at Wednesday’s Nintendo Direct by announcing that Incineroar will be patched out of Super Smash Bros Ultimate after failing […]

Opinion: Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip

January 17, 2019 Peter Casciato 6

Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip Blip […]

Changes are Coming to The Turnip

December 8, 2018 Brigham Pratt 0

Satire for the Whole Smash Community By now you can tell The Turnip didn’t manage to hold off the release of Ultimate, and so goes […]

This Week in Science: Planet X Clues Continue & Smasher Discovers Deodorant

October 5, 2018 Brigham Pratt 0

The first week of October has yielded massive breakthroughs in the scientific worlds. Evidence of the putative Planet X that supposedly lies beyond even Pluto […]