Emperor Penguin Calls Out Leffen, Says Statements About Antarctica are “Unfounded”
The most respected Antarctic TO made a statement this Sunday regarding TSM Leffen’s twitter comments. The statement comes in after Leffen went on a long […]
Articles by FriendlyFireOn
Top Melee Player Seen Destroying Everything After Son Asks to Play Ultimate
Top Melee player Joseph “Mang0” Marquez was seen last night in Norwalk, CA destroying everything in his path after dropping from 9600 to 9400 subscribers […]
Doing Sudoku Puzzles and Other Simple Ways to Improve Neutral Game
Here at the Turnip, we care a lot about your success inside and outside of the game. To help you with the most difficult parts […]
New Algorithm to Dynamically Reseed Brackets Based on Twitter Data
Community intellectual Kadano has just announced that he has developed an algorithm to rapidly reseed brackets based on Twitter data. This system will use deep […]
Distraught Mother Finds Hard Drive Filled with Fox vs. Puff Sets Under Son’s Bed
A local mother in Pawtucket, Rhode Island found her son’s secret Fox vs. Jigglypuff videos stored on a hard drive under his bed this Saturday. […]
Surprising New Study Shows Melee is Killing Hungrybox
The number 1 player in the world, Juan “Hungrybox” Debiedma, has become terminally ill due to overexposure to the Fox matchup. Reddit analysts have been […]
Westboro Baptist Minister Enters Genesis, Places Top 8
A Westboro Baptist Church minister traveling to Genesis 5 to preach the good word of the bible found himself placing 7th after a close game […]
Leaked Tafokints emails- 22 east coast MIOM ballots DELETED
Controversy over ChuDat and S2Js Melee It On Me Top 100 rankings leave many wondering what is more important: consistency or peaks? The Turnip has […]
Leffen Becomes Gargantuan, Ruins H&M Shirt After Beating Armada
William “Leffen” Hjelte, with a grand finals reset over Adam “Armada” Lindgren, felt his H&M V-neck split down the seam as he raised a triumphant […]